Zombie University – Chapter 2

Not even two days after that, Song Fei once again sees Qi Yan in an elective course worth 2 credits called “Classic Film Appreciation”. The competition for this course is comparable to that of the Spring Festival train ticket. When the course just opened for registration, the quota ran out in a matter of seconds; Song Fei and his entire room all crazily clicked on the button at the same time, but only Song Fei hacked the competition and won the prize. After finishing the first lesson, Song Fei knew that he had chosen the right one. The teacher is truly amicable. The moment the bell rings, he takes their attendance, then turns off the lights and shows the movie. Whether you pay attention or you doze off, no one asks. And to be honest, a classroom with lights out is really a sleeping paradise. Many a time, if Song Fei isn’t daydreaming, then he is napping.

The two of them were still on good terms when it was the selection period for the upcoming courses at the end of last semester, so they chose to have various courses together. Because of that, after breaking up this semester, they still often cross paths. So very painfully romantic.

In this course, Qi Yan sits in the first row as usual, while Song Fei sits in the last row, also as usual. The reason why they are so far away has nothing to do with them not wanting to revoke past memories, rather, it is their personal choice. Although they only take some elective classes together after breaking up, Song Fei believes that Qi Yan sits at the same first row in his compulsory courses. Wang Qingyuan also does this. Perhaps in the minds of these bookworms, the closer to the blackboard, the easier it is to be hit by knowledge. He, an under-achiever who has been flying at low altitudes in various subjects for many years, can’t understand the aspirations of these defaulted scholarship recipients. So, luckily they broke up earlier this semester, otherwise they would have to begin going to class together and arguing whether to sit in the front row or in the last row for who knows how many times. There were already so many unpleasant incidents in the previous semester just because they went to the library for self-study together.

You can’t be in love because you can’t agree on your life views?

Then you’re f**king doomed if you can’t agree on your studies! ! !

It is also bad luck. There is no official penalty for illegal use of electrical appliances, so perhaps the school wants to find another way to make a fuss about this. Ultimately, teacher Jia, finally being at ease, ‘praises’ them in front of all the sophomore students of School of History during a weekend dinner. The embarrassment of being shamed in front of the next class hasn’t even vapourised yet, then today, the teacher who has always been kind suddenly drops a horror movie for them to watch. No, “horror movie” is euphemised by Song Fei; the teacher’s correct wording is “cult movie”. He also decides to not give much introduction. Before the broadcast, he eloquently introduces his experience of watching similar movies for more than ten years, and he has come to conclude that all cult films currently on the market have to call this one their ancestor. Song Fei looks at the teacher’s bright eyes and strongly suspects that the first few lessons were only to follow the lesson plan. The lesson today may be his hidden true nature.

The true nature of his is too exciting. The director definitely has a secret intent to get revenge on the society. Blood splashes everywhere, limbs fly in all directions. Indeed this is a masterful director, for he not only destroys your physiology but also torments your psychology. At long last, Song Fei can’t bear it anymore and unhesitatingly retreats early. When he slips out of the back door, it seems that some female students cast him a contemptuous look. Song Fei admires these girls — they must all be real men. Many of his buddies also like this kind of film, but he really can’t do it. It is just like someone out there dares to catch a mouse with bare hands yet is afraid to step on a bug. Humans must have a lot of types and a plethora of shades, each with his own fear.

Anyway, he checks out of the class and heads to the canteen, quietly humming a tune. Song Fei happily thinks that he won’t have to queue for dinner at this early hour.

As he just sits down and takes a bite of the newly-invented chicken stewed in mandarin orange by the canteen chef — being able to eat freshly cooked food in the canteen is one of the limited sources of happiness in this boring campus life for Song Fei; even more commendable is the success rate of this anonymous fusion masterchef, for at least six out of ten new dishes are still edible — Qi Yan’s WeChat message arrives.

【The teacher is taking attendance again. 】

The sweet and sour chicken instantly becomes bitter.

Song Fei looks at the time. It should be just after class. With his highest possible level of meanness, he speculates that the other party just wants to hurt him with the most malicious intent and decisively replies — 【Please, he already took attendance at the start of class, now once more at the end? Is he sick in the head? 】

The other party’s reply was brief and concise —【Uhm. 】

Song Fei was a little bit anxious, so he desperately goes to ask from Xiang Yang to a coursemate in School of Physics. The answer given by the other party is meticulous —【Yeah, he not only takes attendance but also mentions that if you’re absent today then you don’t need to go for the exam. Definitely will fail.】

Song Qi has no idea if Qi Yan indeed wants to hurt him or not.

But this elective teacher is absolutely in love with this cult film! Why is it considered love? If you can’t appreciate the beauty of my sweetheart, I will fail you for this class! ! !

2 credits are gone.

The two months of going to class is all for naught.

Song Fei no longer has any appetite. He packs a meal for Wang Qingyuan as usual and trots back to the dormitory with a heavy heart.

As soon as he enters the door, schoolmate¹ Wang, who has just finished the English Level 6 mock paper and is waiting to be fed, totally doesn’t express any gratitude. He also stabs a knife into Song Fei’s already heavy heart, “Level 4 and Level 6 exams are coming in half a month, don’t you see it?”

¹ 同学 [tong xue], lit. translated as “classmate”, “coursemate” or “schoolmate”, is a common way to address someone from the same grade in the same school as you. Teachers usually also address a student as “tong xue”.

Song Fei applied for Level 4 after his first semester. Wang Qingyuan passed Level 4 with a high score, so he directly applies for Level 6 this semester. Song Fei, on the other hand, perfectly avoided the passing line. To be precise, he kept a very safe distance from the passing line, so this semester, he repeats.

Wang Qingyuan looks at his expression and immediately can tell that Song Fei hasn’t studied anything. He feels sad that this repeat student really can’t improve, sighing, “If you really don’t plan to pass, then don’t sign up and waste money on it.”

Song Fei is also distressed about the course fee, but, “Everyone else signs up for the course. If I don’t sign up, people won’t want to hang around with me.”

Wang Qingyuan shoots him a glance, “They also don’t want to hang around with grades like yours”

Song Fei passes Wang Qingyuan his lunch with both hands, “Brother, eat while it’s hot.”

Wang Qingyuan no longer wants to discuss. When it comes to matters of studying, if you don’t take care of it yourself, others can talk until their mouth breaks and it will still be useless.

Song Fei sleepily lies in bed and plays with his mobile phone. He squints: Xiang Yang, whom he had no idea had come back to the room, is sitting on his bed and looking at the phone.

Song Fei only needs to take one glimpse to know that Xiang Yang is still arguing with his girlfriend — that malicious expression of wanting to smash the phone is exactly the same as his last night.

Xiang Yang’s girlfriend is from the Foreign Language University four stops away from here. He has no idea how they got together. The current period of the girl’s freshman year and Xiang Yang’s sophomore year is the most stressful time, when everyone is having extended lessons. Apart from meeting on the weekends, they have to take advantage of any free slot to be together. From the moment they got together 2 months ago, these two are always seen side by side, but since last week, a semi cold war has been going on.

“Still no truce?” Song Fei decides to care about his roommate.

Xiang Yang presses the send button and throws the phone aside. With an expression of “You don’t understand”, he looks at Song Fei, “Getting a girl is hard – harder than climbing mountains; Coaxing a girl is hard – harder than reaching the sky!” 

“Idiot,” Song Fei concludes, “What’s the use of mere sweet talk? You have to give her something practical, a gift for example”

Xiang Yang glances at him, “You give me money?”

Song Fei silently turns his head to look out of the window. He has tons of advice but of course zero money.

Wang Qingyuan closes the English-Chinese dictionary and suggests, “Just let her come. Doesn’t she want to see how big our Sports Day is?”

“You two are really naive,” Xiang Yang feels it is necessary to educate his bachelor roommates on the science of dating. “If the girl says she wants to come to see the programmes, her subtext is to see you. If you don’t have any programme, it’s also okay, you could just chill and hang around the city…”

“That’s not all you want to say, right?” Wang Qingyuan is confused.

“But I have a programme!” Xiang Yang shouts at the sky, then begins a glamorous imitation show, “This is how my girl will talk to her girl-friend: “Hey, you are going to see your boyfriend at Sports Day tomorrow, right? I’m going too. — Is it? What programme does your friend participate in? — Relay running. What about your boyfriend? —  Tai chi fan dance.””

Wang Qingyuan, “…”

Song Fei looks at the big red fan lying next to his pillow and chokes quietly.

Tai Chi Fan Dance and Military Fitness Performance are traditional competitive programmes of the university. It is said to have a glorious history of several decades. Every time Sports Day comes, all schools will inevitably be in full battle, and they won’t rest until they know who is first and who is second. However, as new eras of students arrive one after another, this tradition has met with more and more resistance, mainly because it is time-consuming and labour-intensive. These programmes ask for all freshmen’s and sophomores’ collective efforts yet they only get a ranking, while the reward points are also not much higher than individual programmes’. No one wants to get up early and practice till late nights for several months just to buy some fun for the university heads. With that amount of time, it is better to practice running or throwing things, since at least that brings some glory to the department. Over time, these two programmes have degenerated into pure performance projects. At first, several departments still participated. Since two years ago, it has been fixed that School of History will do the Tai chi fan dance while School of Mathematics will do the military fitness performance.

This one is arts, that one is science. This one is graceful, that one is tough. No one knows whether it is a mandatory order from the university heads, a true passion of the school deans or simply a sad fate for these two schools. Ultimately, it is the students who suffer.

What is even more outrageous is that in order to perform ‘with zest’, the Tai Chi fans purchased by their department this year are bright red silk on stainless steel backbones. With one swing, it will bang loudly. Full of energy, truly sophisticated.

The mournful silence grows in the air. This is a sad topic that no one can get out alive from.

“Where is Ren Zhe?” In the sorrowful tranquility, Song Fei realises that a 440 General is missing.

Xiang Yang shrugs, “One-day tour of course. What else would it be?”

The one-day campus tour is a magical weapon for getting girls developed by the boys of Department of Tourism Management. It is usually reserved only for the freshman ladies of the same school. The operation process is basically that a senior will formulate an intra-school tour route on the grounds of “professional internship”, then, with an innocent smile, he will capture a freshman girl who has little experience of this cruel world to join him on this trip to discover the hidden beauty of the campus. Right now, at the end of October, it is the prime time to capture new girls since they just enter university.

“F**k! Really?” Xiang Yang screams and flips down from the upper bunk. He opens the door and pokes his head out to look.

Song Fei, startled and still sitting on the bed, stares at his roommate and asks, “What’s the matter?”

Xiang Yang pays him no attention and continues to look around. Song Fei becomes curious and jumps down from his bunk, then joins Xiang Yang to look outside.

The hallway of the boys’ dormitory building is long and narrow. There are dozens of rooms on both sides and the end is a long stretch away. Room 440 is located at the west. At this moment, there seems to be a gathering at the other end of the corridor, but the distance is too far for them to see clearly.

“Damn, it’s the real thing,” Zhao Jinxin, who lives next to them in Room 441, also opens the door. As he looks up to see his two classmates also poking their heads out in curiosity, he tells them quickly.

Song Fei suddenly feels his stomach drop. This is what they call one time curious, hundred times anxious. “Seriously what the hell is happening?”

Wang Qingyuan also comes from behind, “Look at the group by yourself.”

Song Fei and his mates have a school WeChat group. Because of the large number of people in it, the chat tings tings tings all day and night. Most of the conversations aren’t serious so Song Fei mutes it at one point. Now, as he hears Wang Qingyuan telling him to look at the group, he reflexes instinctively, hurrying back to his phone and turning the chat on. The screen is now full of “f**k”, “damn” and “motherf**ker”, and no one could care any less about the tutors also being in the group. Song Fei has to scroll up more than a hundred messages to find the right thing — a classmate in Room 402 from Department of Archaeology hasn’t been contactable for four days. The college has tried to hide it and not reported to the university. This morning, the student’s computer bag and half of his leg are found in the bushes outside of the west gate. It is now suspected that the student has been murdered. The police are in Room 402 checking his belongings, and the three roommates are being interviewed separately.

Song Fei had certain expectations, but after reading, he is utterly bored. It may be true, else the police won’t come, but it is most likely that someone has lost stuff and he just calls the police. This sort of commotion isn’t uncommon in a dormitory. What ‘uncontactable’, what ‘has been murdered’ — these crap news are all over social media. A campus horror story is just like a rumour that someone interrogates all his friends in one day, someone is right at the crime scene blah blah. And about half of his leg being found, if it’s true, show a photo then.

As if for the sake of Song Fei who has been mentally exposing almost ten of the rumour messages in the chat, someone sends a ‘live photo likely coming from the student who reported the incident’.

The photo is small and blurry. Song Fei doesn’t even have to click on the photos to see it. Even though the phototakers must have been shaking and not focusing correctly, one can clearly tell that it is a part of a leg below the knee, where only the calf and the foot remain. The calf is all bloody, but the white Nike shoe worn on the foot is extremely dazzling against the crimson mess that has solidified and blackened.

Song Fei feels sick.

He firmly believes that this so-called ‘live photo’ can be found everywhere on the Internet, but incidentally, it reminds him of the ‘classic movie’ that he had to appreciate earlier. As the images of those two overlap, his stomach begins to churn.